I'm trying to put this year in a nutshell and that's pretty hard. What? I'm trying to write an overview of the last 8 months of my life. Sometimes I sit down and think about what's going on and how my direction got totally lost because I used to know exactly where I was going and everything was planned But really I'm thanking God or someone for Kym, and my friends and for all the fun I'm having and at least my "youth" isn't being totally wasted. At least I found someone to love and when I'm old that's one good thing I'll have to remember.
Some days everything in the world starts pressing down on me. Like back in January, when I was worried about Harriet and how she was going anorexic, and then how I was worried about Meg when she wasn't coping at home, and then how I was worried about my sister, and then Chelle and then my own family who were always arguing and my best friend taking drugs and us falling apart. It used to make me cry and now I swear to myself to be a better person and be interested in the future and not smoke cigarettes or weed and not have sex with someone I didn't really love and not to wear too much eyeliner or be rude to Mom. And then I think that's hopeless because I've changed so much and broken all these pacts I made with myself and the older I get the more I see how I can act on these things and work it all out in some twisted way. So I learnt to love life and love myself, and most of all, LOVE MY FRIENDS.
...in terms of your morals and stuff: you were dying from the day you were born.
My name is Vikki. Sweet Sixteen. A tainted innocent I guess. A kick me ballerina. With the biggest smile you'll ever know.
You're a romantic, Vikki, but you're not hopeless
...and really it's the end of something simple, and the beginning of everything else. Time to move on, and grow up.